A Little Academic Humor
Go Among the Graduated and Rejoice
Hearken well to my words those among you who seek to graduate. And if you listen carefully to all these words and follow without fail all that I say unto you, when the trees have fully shown all their leaves, and then, when heat of the summer is just coming upon us, you shall go among the graduated and there will be great rejoicing.
On the Science of the Laboratory
And you shall for one year take a course in which you learn of the atoms of the earth, or of the principles of matter, or of the various beasts and the plants that live upon the earth, or if you have interests of other worlds, you shall study of the sun and the stars and the planets. And these courses shall be called the Science of the Laboratory.
And you must complete eight credits of the Science of the Laboratory. And the eight credits of the Science of the Laboratory shall be divided into two parts of which you shall take first, four of the eight parts, and second, the other four of the eight parts. And if the first four of the eight parts be Alchemy, the second four of the eight parts shall likewise be Alchemy and not Physicks nor Natural Philosophy. But if the first four of the eight parts be Physicks, the second four of the eight parts shall likewise be Physicks and not Alchemy nor Natural Philosophy…
